When Silence Isn’t Empty
“Every great thinker fills their lives with silence. Because in the silence, the mind has nothing else to do but wander. And it is in the wandering that we stumble upon original thought.”
Unironically, I thought of this quote while on one of my quiet morning strolls with my son. I’m taking advantage of the fact that he still likes riding in the stroller and that he tends to stare silently off into the distance while I push him. I used to wear headphones while we did this, but I’ve recently been leaving those at home.
Over the years, I’ve been struck more by the importance of silence, especially as it has become more of a luxury with young children at home. I’m a big advocate for keeping screen time as minimal as possible, and even then, only showing low-stimulation content (a 15-minute video of planes landing and taking off every Saturday afternoon). If low stimulation holds true for children, then why not for grown-ups, too?
I believe that in our busy lives, we can often mistake empty moments for wasted time; however, I think those empty moments are doing something very important.
I imagine my mind is like a giant filing cabinet. Throughout the day, it receives more information than it can process at once. In my experience, that process happens best in the quiet moments.
Silence Fuels Creativity
Recently, whenever I had a speech to give or a lesson to teach, my wife would ask me how I felt about it. When I compared myself to work I’ve done in the past, I always felt “not good.”
When did that flip happen? After thinking about it, I realized it happened right around the time I bought myself wireless earbuds. I spent about the same amount of time at my desk prepping my lessons, but what was different now was the time I spent away from it. Before earbuds, I had all this silence while I worked out, drove, or did chores, so I could think about my lessons and rehearse them in my head. But after earbuds, my inner thoughts and dialogue were replaced by lyrics and podcasts.
That’s when I realized something. I spent only a fraction of prep time actually typing. Most of my writing happens while I’m away from my desk. I just use the keyboard so others can read what I wrote.
There’s a reason why genius seems to happen when we shower, and we call them “shower thoughts.” We aren’t scrolling on our phones or distracted by anything else. The only things we have available to us are the water, soap, and our thoughts – an ideal situation for those filing cabinets to get organized.
Silence Brings Rest
During school one day, I caught one of my students cheating. I never expected that as a teacher I’d take it so personally, and I didn’t know it would bother me so much.
After work, I did my normal routine. I put in my earbuds, went to the gym, went home to cook and clean, and afterward spent some time playing video games. When it was finally time to go to bed, I closed my eyes, and my mind started racing. How was I going to deal with this cheating situation? When would I talk to the students? What would I say? What would our relationship look like going forward? That night, I barely got any sleep.
This was another unexpected side effect of overusing earbuds. My brain postponed processing until the first moment of silence, and that was bedtime.
It isn’t just difficult conversations, either. I mentioned earlier how I “work on my lessons” away from my desk. There have been many nights when I lay there thinking about what to say. Video games and TV shows can also keep me up when I think about them.
Silence Lets Us Hear The Gentle Whisper
Besides creativity and sleep, the area I find most affected by a lack of silence is my spiritual life. The mechanism is the same. I already feel like I don’t have enough time throughout the day to pray. Driving to and from work is the perfect time to do so, but when I have the radio on, even that time is taken up.
Joshua 1:8 says, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” I confess that my meditation has been more on local news and video game strategies because that’s what I have playing in the background most of the day. And because of it, I often feel distant and out of sync with God.
The Bible has much to say about connecting our minds to our faith. From Colossians 3:2 and Romans 12:2, it’s clear that as transformed believers, our minds should be transformed as well. This is important because our thoughts affect our actions and attitude. If I fill my mind with things that are upright and holy, that is what I will pursue. If I fill my mind with other things, then these are the things my heart will be set on.
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” I personally love this little verse. I wonder how many New Yorkers pause on their daily commute to look up and appreciate just how impressive the city is. It is in the stillness that we can take in the grandeur of something and feel close to it.
The best example of this in the Bible is Elijah, who, in 1 Kings 19, did not find God in the powerful wind, earthquake, or fire, but rather in a “gentle whisper.”
I know God speaks to me throughout the day. I just need to be still and listen.
Silence Deepens Relationships
Tomorrow morning, I’ll probably push my son through the neighborhood again. He’ll quietly look at the trees and listen to the wind while I think and pray. But even more, I feel my connection to my son deepening as we walk together in silence. The silence says that we don’t need anything else; that each other’s presence and sharing in the time together is enough. Somehow in that silence, these moments are being filed away into my heart.
I hope that as my children grow, they know their dad has given enough silence to just appreciate them.
