Uncle Kevin

“You become an adult when you can take care of more than just yourself.”

“The most important lesson you can learn in college is how to manage your time.”

“The ones who learn the most are the teachers. The ones who benefit the most are the ones who serve.”

“Today is the best your significant other is ever going to look. Gravity always wins”

These are some of the random pieces of advice that I pass on to people when appropriate. They were all given to me by a man named Kevin Seto. We never used any official titles, but I’ve considered him my mentor ever since college.

What inspired this post was actually Uncle Kevin himself. I’ve been recently seeing Facebook posts from him sharing about and honoring mentors in his life. Considering the legacy of Uncle Kevin’s life and unquantifiable impact that he’s had on my life and others, I figured he deserved to be written about too.

Why The Honorific?

I endearingly refer to him as Uncle Kevin, to which he has tried on a few occasions to get me to drop the Uncle, but I have 2 good reasons for why I keep it.

The first year I began attending church, I passed by one of the classrooms and there was a birthday celebration for Uncle Kevin. An upperclassman came by and asked who the party was for, and I said “Kevin!” to which he responded with, “Don’t you mean, UNCLE Kevin?” accompanied by a deep critical look. As a new believer and new to the church and learning social norms, that moment became a core memory and I have never forgotten the “Uncle” again.

The second reason is that a part of me has never wanted him to think that I see him as anything less than family, so I’ll probably be keeping the honorific for the rest of my life.

Where Our Story Began

I met Uncle Kevin while standing on the sidelines watching an intramural football game my freshman year of college. I wouldn’t learn this until later, but he strategically plans to meet every high school graduate from our church, and this moment was my turn. What followed were a series of consistent meetings over meals, most of which were me politely listening to his ramblings and not retaining much. At least I appreciated that he paid for my meals.

My attitude changed to a deep sense of gratitude my sophomore year when I found myself heartbroken after a difficult break up. During one of our routine meetings, I poured my heart out to him. I don’t remember how he responded. But the saying is true that you often won’t remember what someone said, but rather how they made you feel. I remember that moment changing my life.

The other saying is also true: you won’t care to learn from someone until you learn how much they care. After that day, somehow the ramblings became precious.

After listening to hours of Uncle Kevin, there are a few things that I’ve learned to be true about him.

The 25 Hour Day

At one point, Uncle Kevin served as a church deacon, the college group leader, raised 2 kids, taught Sunday school, worked a full time job as a manager plus overtime, continued meeting with every student, and had time to tell me about the movies he would watch with his wife Friday nights. He also seems to respond to my text messages within 30 minutes every time. This is clearly a case study of what can be achieved when someone focuses and applies themselves, but I stick to the theory that Uncle Kevin actually has 25 hours a day.

Kingdom Minded

The Bible verse I associate with Uncle Kevin the most is Acts 19:15. A group of people were trying to exorcise demons in the name of Jesus by the the authority of Paul. The demons responded with “Jesus I know, and Paul I recognize, but who are you?” Apparently, Paul was such an issue that the demons would talk about him at their little demon meetings. I wouldn’t be surprised if Uncle Kevin’s name was uttered a few times as well. My only question would be if they also used the word “Uncle.”

Allergic to A-

If you’ve ever worked with Uncle Kevin, you’ll most likely have been frustrated at one point or another. He’s somewhat particular about how he wants things done, but most importantly, he never settles for 90% effort. He was a manager at Northrop Grumman, and the way he does things at work carried over into ministry as well. If I forgot to properly log attendance for the 100th Bible study, I knew I’d be hearing from him. In my experience, it’s hard to keep up with what he expects, but there’s a reason why he has had such a tremendous impact.

His Legacy

Years earlier, Uncle Kevin had paid for countless meals for me. Now I was sitting on the other side of the table. When a student asks me how much the meal costs, I tell them about someone who used to pay for mine. Instead of paying me back, I tell them to pay it forward someday.

Even though I see life through my own eyes and perspective, I know that I’m not the main character, nor is Uncle Kevin. That role belongs to Jesus. Uncle Kevin has spent his life telling others about the main character and passing on the baton that he received, and now that it’s in my hands, I don’t want to be the one to drop it.

The neat part is that everyone’s life you impact has the potential to impact another life down the road. We’ll probably have no idea how the story plays out after us, but I have a feeling that some day in Heaven we can ask God and He’ll show us how it all came together. My life is a product of the investment of so many people pouring into it, and Uncle Kevin was a huge portion of it.

The most important thing that Uncle Kevin taught me wasn’t even something he said to me. He showed it to me through his life: the individual matters. Everyone had a name and a story, and he wanted to know both. Usually people would either spend 1000 hours on one person or one hour per 1000 persons. Somehow, Uncle Kevin has spent 1000 hours on 1000 persons.

I couldn’t have imagined that after so much time spent listening and watching Uncle Kevin, I’d eventually embrace so many aspects about him. Have I become an adult yet? At one point, the only thing that mattered was that I was fed and that I was learning. Somewhere along the way, what matter more was that others were fed and taught. I think I have, but I also look at Uncle Kevin and still see what is possible and how much more room I have to grow.

Uncle Kevin, if you are reading this, know that you have shifted the trajectory of many lives, mine included. And no, I’m still not dropping the “Uncle.”