The Powerful Forces Behind Your Habits
A few years ago, I was proctoring the SATs at school, and we were given more time than needed, so we had about an hour left before students were dismissed. After collecting everyone’s materials, I told the students that they could retrieve their things. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but they each did the same thing, and I found it unsettling enough to snap a picture.
You’ll notice that every student had a device out, with one student about 2 inches away from their screen. We sat in complete silence for the next hour, everyone absorbed in their very important things on their phones. Something inside of me just screams that this is not how things should be. I’m a big believer that happiness comes from deep, meaningful connections, and in this room, I don’t see a single connection being made.
Happiness comes from deep, meaningful connections
In 2023, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy proclaimed loneliness as a nationwide epidemic. I will include an image showing some statistics about loneliness. You can click the picture to go to the source and view more stats.
I had a student who I never saw without earbuds. When I asked him to take them out, they’d somehow slip back in within 5 minutes. He never talked to any of his classmates, and he was constantly on his phone. One day, during a break, I went to use the boys’ bathroom. I’m not sure if he noticed me, but that student came into the bathroom, earbuds and all, obviously skipping class, and stood in the corner and browsed his phone.
This moment left me feeling very sad for him. I can’t imagine someone looking at their life options and choosing to hide away in the corner of the boys’ bathroom.
It turns out that there has been plenty of research addressing the same behavior that I’m observing. There are many factors, but the two that stand out to me are Biochemistry and Capitalism.
Your Habits and Biochemistry
Every single one of us has a built-in action reward system. When you do something your brain enjoys, your body releases hormones that make you feel good and want to repeat the action. Dopamine is one of those hormones and is known as the “do it again” hormone. It’s that hormone responsible for the pull you feel towards the pantry after you eat a chip and put the bag away.
When you perform a dopamine-inducing activity, your brain associates that activity with dopamine release and urges you to do it again, which releases more dopamine, which… and the cycle continues.
Dopamine-inducing activities include eating food, sex, exercise, and (most importantly for this discussion) successful social interactions. This reward system is important from an evolutionary standpoint because it rewards beneficial behavior and motivates its repetition.
Although not as intense as a hit of cocaine, neuroscientists have found that rewarding social stimuli – laughing faces, positive recognition, messages from loved ones- activate the same reward pathways. Smartphones provide us with an unlimited supply of social stimuli. Every message, like, and notification has the potential to trigger a dopamine influx.
Smartphones provide us with an unlimited supply of social stimuli.
As you experience more dopamine, you start to build up a tolerance to it, meaning that to achieve the same reward for the same activity, you need more of it, and thus fall into a cycle of addiction. This applies to things like gambling, alcohol, drugs, and sugar.
Your Habits and Capitalism
Social media platforms are free to use, but then how do people behind them make money?
Ad revenues, and companies are willing to pay big bucks to platforms that receive higher viewership.
To put it another way, you are the product social media produces. There is a race to capture your attention for the longest, and the winner is the one who can exploit your brain’s dopamine system the best. This leads to a chilling reality that there are people whose job is to make you as addicted as possible.
When something is free, you are the product.
To understand how companies do this, it helps to look at slot machines and understand why they are addictive.
B.F. Skinner experimented with mice that showed increased responsiveness to stimuli when rewards were administered at unpredictable rates. This is what makes slot machines addictive. The rewarding moments are often enough to be enticing and unpredictable enough to keep you thinking “Surely the next one…”
This is how social media feeds work. When you scroll through Instagram or TikTok, you’ll find that a majority of the content doesn’t actually interest you. This is purposeful. It’s producing that unpredictability that makes things addictive. Then, occasionally, you’ll get a video intentionally fed to you because the algorithm has learned your content preferences, and you’ll get a rush of dopamine. That rush will subside, and you’re brain will want more, and then doom scrolling begins as you chase the next rush. On the way, you probably scrolled past several ads and just made that platform some money.
The Life Lesson
Here are some red flags to watch out for to help determine if you are addicted to your phone. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep? Is your first reaction to reach for your phone at the slightest sense of boredom? Do you feel anxious when you go out and forget your phone at home?
I am not proposing that phones are terrible and should be banned (maybe in schools…). But, as with all things, moderation is key. I don’t actually think gambling is inherently bad (spending a few dollars to have some fun). Alcohol is a good way to make a celebration more lively. Bad drugs are bad, so don’t do those. Phones help us to stay connected, informed, and entertained. But my takeaway for this post is to “Check your habits.” Question yourself why you do what you do, and if it’s helping or hurting you.
If you look at your phone at every red light, ask yourself why. When you are out with friends for dinner, and everyone is on their phones, ask yourself why. Recognizing that you are subject to the pull of dopamine and capitalism helps break these habits.
Recognizing that you are subject to dopamine and capitalism helps break these habits.
Social interaction can be scary, and phones serve as a convenient excuse to avoid it. Using your phone signals to everyone around you that you do not want to be bothered. You’ll get what you want, and everyone will leave you alone, but this will only harm you in the long run.
Imagine the same classroom where no one had access to devices. It might feel really awkward at first, but without something to hide behind, students will naturally talk to each other, “Hey man, how’s that sprained ankle feel?” “What do you think of the eagles?” “Did you do the math homework from last night?” This is how connections are formed: through small, seemingly insignificant yet highly important interactions.
Parent Perspective
There is a saying when it comes to parenting that “more is caught than taught.” I can tell my kid to behave one way, but they ultimately imitate what I do. I’ve seen this happen a worrying amount with my Caden. He learned to wave because I waved to him. When I dance, he does a little shimmy. If he sees me constantly on my phone, he is going to imitate that habit growing up.
Being responsible for how he develops makes me constantly check myself and what I do because I recognize that I am not immune to these bad habits. I confess that I, too, am addicted to sugar and my phone, and I need to break that. I do not want my son to become another statistic. My dream for him is to live a life with deep, meaningful connections and end up happy, and it starts with showing him how to live.
Christian Perspective
I gave some red flags above addressed to the general public, but to a Christian, I’d ask: How is your relationship with God? Addictions suck up our attention and focus. I have never come out of a long social media or long video gaming session praising God and thinking about eternal things. Instead, my brain feels foggy, and I am filled with a sense of guilt, which impacts my relationship with God.
We are called to be sober-minded, to set our minds on things above, to live as sojourners and have our eyes fixed upon Jesus. Don’t let bad habits get in the way of your mission and joy.
