Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 A time For Everything
When my son was 18 months old and learning to talk, he would precede anything he didn’t know how to pronounce with “ah”. So the letter “W” would be “ah-yu,” and “dinosaur” would be “ah-saur”. A year later, he’s stopped doing that, and I didn’t think this would be something I’d miss. Now, a different habit he has is that when he does something he’s proud of, he’ll look back at me to make sure I’m watching. Every time he does, I store those moments in my heart, because I know this time period will pass.
Watching my son grow has made me reflect on my own life, especially the moment I became a Christian.
One of my first encounters with the Bible was the book of Ecclesiastes, and it has held a special place in my heart ever since.
My testimony involves me dealing with existential questions about death and the meaning of life, so you can imagine what it did to my young brain as I heard the phrase “everything is meaningless.” I have since learned that the proper translation is more accurately “everything is hevel”, but regardless, the themes have always stuck with me.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.”
Seasons Come and Go
If it wasn’t apparent from the repetition, the author REALLY wants us to understand there is a time for everything. In the Christian community, we use the word “seasons” to describe periods of life, and for good reason. We recognize that, like the seasons, no matter how good or bad a time period is, it comes and goes.
The inevitability of passing time deepens in me a gratitude for when times are good, and a hope when times are tough.
Life Seems Random…
Is there a connection between each verse? What I notice is that there really isn’t, and in fact, they seem random. The author goes from talking about weeping and laughing to casting and gathering stones. This randomness can be frustrating in a world where we crave control and predictability.
How did you feel when you were young and wondering if you would ever get married? Or when you are approaching graduation without a job lined up? How about when gossip about you had gotten out of hand? We’d feel a lot less anxious about these if we had some guarantees or more control over them.
… But Not Out Of Control
As random as these events seem to be, they don’t appear to be “out of control.” By the statement of “a time to,” each seems purposefully given.
I’m reminded of my job as a parent. Caden often has his own ideas about how he’d like to spend his time, but as a parent, I have to guide him. There is a time to eat, a time to play, a time to wash, a time to sleep, and as a good parent, I make sure these times happen even if he fights against me. These times have become more predictable for him, but someday he’ll enter kindergarten. There will then be a time for homework, which I’m sure he’ll be thrilled about.
The Takeaway
This is how God operates with us, too. What feels unpredictable to us is still purposeful in His hands. If life feels random and beyond our control, then our call isn’t to master it, but instead to trust the master in control.
If life feels random and beyond our control, then our call isn’t to master it, but instead to trust the master in control.
My job as a child of God, therefore, is not to resist the season I’m in, but to remain faithful. I see in myself a tendency to compare myself to the past and even pine for things that used to be. But I’ve come to see that there is a season for everything. With each season comes its own unique struggles and joys, and each one God has used to grow me.
Personal Story
Halfway through college and post-graduation was my most impactful time of singleness. I could come and go as I pleased, talk to whom I pleased, and do whatever I wanted with my time. The struggle of that season was loneliness. The joy was freedom and flexibility.
Those who knew me during this time knew that I spent most of my free time serving and ministering to those younger than me. This was when I really understood what Jesus meant when he said, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work (John 4:34).”
The following season, I married Diwen. The joys are obvious—I found the love of my life, a partner, and a best friend. But I also had to make a lot of adjustments. I was now accountable to more than just myself. I couldn’t just come home at 11 pm anymore without an explanation. My relationships with the opposite gender changed. How much free time I have and how I use it has changed. That chapter has passed.
The season I am currently in is child-rearing. In this post, I’ve shared the difficulties I had adjusting. I mentioned earlier that I often compare myself to my past, and in many ways, I feel like I have fallen off. I’m not serving in church ministry as much as I used to, and there’s a big part of me that feels guilty. But I’ve come to see that my ministry has shifted. My first ministry is now inside the home. What faithfulness looks like for me now is raising my children to know the love of God.
I miss how easily Diwen and I used to go out together. Sometimes it feels like we are trapped in our house. But this is the season of holding the fort—messy rooms, cleaning pee off the bathroom floor, constant noise, and the occasional sleepless night.
Seasons To Come
This season will come and go. Someday, we’ll enter a season where Diwen and I will finally have an organized house again. We’ll be able to go out on dates easily without having to find a babysitter. But a part of us will miss the mess, the noise, and how we used to be Caden’s entire world. I will see him grow, and time will slip through my fingers.
There will be a season when I will sit in the crowd at graduation, looking at the top of Caden’s cap. Just like when he was a baby, he will turn around, searching for me. I’ll be standing there waving, and his face will light up when he finds me. He’ll walk across the stage, diploma in hand, and our eyes will lock. These moments when he turns to make sure I’m still there will become fewer, until one day, he’ll run without looking back.
These moments when he turns to make sure I’m still there will become fewer, until one day, he’ll run without looking back.
